Respond to These Science Pickup Lines and We'll Guess How Much Chemistry You Have

By: Ian Fortey

5 Min Quiz

Image: pixelfit/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

When we think of romance and love, we often think of the arts rather than the sciences. You write a poem or a song for someone you care about. Maybe you paint a beautiful portrait. Science often seems cold and uncaring. But really, that's just an outward misunderstanding. After all, science can actually get to the core of love and attraction and explain so much of how and why we react in certain ways.

Our bodies produce hormones and pheromones, and we have distinct and measurable physical reactions. There is a lot of science going on behind love, even if we don't fully understand it all. What we can understand is that science and the age-old art of trying to pick up have a lot in common.

If you feel like you have even a little affinity for science, if there's any chemistry going on in your life at all, why don't you check out some of these top-of-the-line science pick up lines and see which ones work for you? We'll check out your answers and uses of science to figure out just how much chemistry you really have. What are you waiting for? Take the quiz and see!

Baby, you must be made of copper and tellurium because you are CuTe!

What the heck is tellurium?

Oh, heh.
Do you have erbium, oxygen, titanium, carbon intentions?

I see what you did there! Nice.

Know what my favorite element on the periodic table is? Uranium, because it's U.

I'm not uranium.

Isn't that deadly, though?
We should add sulfur and make it US.

Well, that's cute I guess.

I can calculate pi to one hundred digits, but I'd rather know the seven digits of your phone number.

I do enjoy pie.

Well, keep calculating, you'll find them.
Well, technically speaking, you've already calculated each of the digits several times, then.

Prove it.

Relativity isn't half as special as you are.

Did you just insult me?

Dude. Stop.
Give me some space because I don't have the time.

Hey, that was a good try. Good for you.

You're looking like the fossilized remains of Megatherium because I am digging you.

I know most of those words but ... what?

So you're a paleontologist or what?
Comparing me to a sloth seems less than complimentary.

Sure thing, Jurassic Park.

Just call me DNA helicase because I am ready to unzip your genes.

Security!

That's a little forward.
I'm more into CRISPR right now.

Huh. No thanks?

Hey baby, do you have 11 protons over there? Because you are Sodium fine!

Is that better than regular fine?

Please stop.
Now tell me about my neutrons.

Are you calling me salty?

I think you and I should get out of here and form a covalent bond together.

No, thank you.

Sorry, already bonded over here.
But ionic bonds are stronger.

I'm all out of electrons to share.

You be the aluminum foil and I'll be the battery and we'll make some heat together.

That's some really sexy imagery right there.

Sounds kind of inefficient.
That's a good way to get burned.

Ooh, sounds fun.

Looks like you must have dropped an electron somewhere because you are positively attractive!

I didn't drop anything.

Better than being repulsed.
Careful, you might make this a negative soon.

I do know a little about the laws of attraction.

Let's make like chromosomes and be a homologous pair.

What did you just call me?

Or not.
Do you think we line up in a karyotype?

Sorry, I'm more of an autosome.

Say I was C6 and you were H12, then all we'd need is the air we're breathing to be sweeter than sugar.

I have no idea what just happened.

Oh. Right.
Well, technically glucose is C6 H 12 O6, not O2.

Well, isn't that sweet?

You must be a non-volatile particle because you're raising my boiling point.

Oh. Sorry.

Yes. Yes, I am.
Better than a volatile one.

Sounds hot.

You know, if you're following the second law of thermodynamics, you should be sharing your hotness with me.

What's this about the law?

Well, I wouldn't want to break the law.
Nothing's hotter than entropy, huh?

Some laws were made to be broken.

Baby, you're as hot as a Bunsen burner.

Is that the flaming thing?

So, just fire?
That gets up to 1,500 degrees or so. You may be exaggerating.

At the base of the flame or the tip?

You know what you remind me of? An exothermic reaction - you're just spreading that hotness everywhere.

Great.

That's clever, I guess.
You're making me feel a little endothermic.

That sounds vaguely insulting

You know, if you were oceanic crust and I was a continent, I'd let you subduct so we could make burning hot magma.

I don't want that to happen near me.

That sounds dangerous.
I don't think the science in this is sound.

Mmm, crust.

How about I be a twig and you be a twig and we make some friction heat by rubbing together?

How about no?

This is just no good.
Cavemen technology really is hot.

Good luck rubbing your twig.

Do you know what the universe and my love for you have in common? They're infinite.

So you mean big, huh?

That sounds a bit dramatic.
To be fair, there are theories that the universe is finite.

And they're cold, too.

Forget hydrogen, from where I'm standing you're my number one element.

Thanks?

That's kind of charming.
I'm that simple, am I?

Could be worse, I guess.

Whenever I'm near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.

Aerobics sounds fun.

Just breathe, you'll be fine.
I really prefer aerobic.

That sounds traumatic.

You and I go together like anatomy and physiology.

That sounds kind of boring.

So which one am I?
I do enjoy studying anatomy.

Better than peas and carrots.

You are so hot you denatured my proteins!

I get that a lot.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Are your tertiary structures OK?

Did it hurt?

Hey there, what do you say we measure the amplitude of our physical wave?

And then what?

What say we don't?
I think I may be a crest and you're a trough.

Are you hoping for a big amplitude or a small one?

You must be a carbon sample because I really want to date you.

I bet you do.

That's not half bad.
Carbon dating is not super accurate, you know.

What do you think our half-life will be?

Want to convert our potential energy to kinetic energy?

I don't know, do I?

No, thanks!
Way ahead of you.

Seems like a lot of work.

I may be a physics major, but I'm no Bohr.

Are you sure?

You'll have to try harder to prove that.
But Niels seemed like a great guy.

Do you mean like boring or like a pig?

You're proof of climate change because you're raising my global temperature.

So you're getting sweaty? Gross.

By how many degrees?
This is depressing.

We found an upside!

Even if there was no gravity I think I'd fall for you.

You think?

Don't fall too hard.
I suppose if we were in space we'd all be falling all the time.

Clever.

Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.

Gross.

Do you need some pills or anything?
Well then, let me call a doctor.

I'm sorry, I'll go away.

7 Minute Quiz 7 Min

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